Tuesday, 12 October 2010

The Real Alternative

Let us take a glimpse at an average day in the life of the ego…

Drag yourself out of bed. Drink two cups of strong coffee. Eat something unhealthy on the go. Shower and spend ages finding what to wear to attract the right partner (this applies even if you already have one). Read the newspaper. Moan about your special hate figure politician, or the weather, with a commuter on the way to work. Put on your work ‘mask’ and go on autopilot. Flirt, gossip and complain about a few of your colleagues with your co-workers. During your lunch break, talk about the drudgery of everyday life and read a copy of Hello or Now (for the girls), Nuts or Upfront (for the boys). Continue the conversation about Cheryl Coles cellulite on the shop floor. Have a couple of drinks with your mates after work, to help anaesthetise the pain and alleviate any guilt resulting from the day’s gossip. Go home watch your favourite soap opera or un-reality TV programme. Disagree with your partner on just about everything. Go to bed ExHaaaaaaaaUsTeD!

This living death makes perfect sense given that the ego’s goal is to kill us and, maybe, this is the closest it comes to doing so whilst we are still in a body.

We appear to lack any real direction in life, preferring to follow this unconscious death urge instead. It is as if we are on a useless treadmill, going nowhere, with just enough food and water to keep us going – and, sadly, we are convinced that is all we are worth.

The ego encourages us to “seek and do not find” (T 223 and 226). It sees every-body as a threat to its sense of specialness and will eradicate anyone who gets in its way. So, we spend our days throwing tantrums, blaming everybody and everything and, then, wondering why we are so weary, depressed and mentally scarred from the war we have waged against ourselves and others since the beginning of time. We are so far removed from the truth that the world becomes our reality and God illusion.

Whenever we attack a brother, either overtly or covertly, we are really attacking ourselves. That is because there is only one mind. So all attack (even if we think it is justified) is really self-attack – a lame attempt to cast off the guilt we are feeling by projecting it outward. It is all part of the egos crazy plan to keep us chained to this body and to the world.

In my opinion, what is happening in the world, is pale in comparison to what goes on inside our heads every second of the day. Our thoughts are the real weapons of mass destruction and we think about 50,000 of them every day. Imagine if we were to channel that same energy into thinking thoughts of Spirit. The results would be phenomenal.

You may believe that you lack the commitment to make the necessary changes in your thinking. Nonsense! Beware of the dreaded ‘excusitis’ – a common ailment amongst the living dead! We are always committed to something; and its either fearful or loving. There is no in-between. We are either thinking loving thoughts or nothing at all. It is really that simple.

A Course in Miracles may appear difficult, at first, when really its teachings are radical and simple. It is only our resistance to Love that causes us discomfort.

“Think not that happiness is ever found by following a road away from it. This makes no sense, and cannot be the way. To you who seem to find this course to be too difficult to learn, let me repeat that to achieve a goal you must proceed in its direction, not away from it.” (T 654)

A few years ago, I was the victim of an assault at work. Things went from bad to worse when fabricated statements started to surface, making me out to be the perpetrator. I quickly sought counsel in the ego, who took pity on me, and advised me to fight to get fair compensation. So, I packed the Holy Spirit off on an extended holiday and decided to party with the ego instead! What started out as a pride-filled showdown, acceptable to me, rapidly turned into a revolting pig’s breakfast! It was like walking uphill, backwards, blindfolded, with both legs tied together and expecting to get to the top of the hill.

It was only when I found the courage to look beneath the surface that I realised the error of my ways. Old memories surfaced (triggered by the incident) of a boy who spent his childhood feeling odd, alone and unlovable. Suddenly, the problem had stopped being outside of me. There was nobody left to blame.

“Forgive yourself your madness, and forget all senseless journeys and all goal-less aims. They have no meaning.” (T 655)

A few days later, I had a heartfelt conversation with my manager at work, speaking from a place of calm. I chose to remember his innocence and my own.

Everything we experience in a body, good or bad, is the effect of a decision that we have made. And there are no exceptions to this rule. When you realise that you, alone, are responsible for your thoughts and that everything you see is of your making, then separate interests fall away and you will remember God.

A Course in Miracles is radical because it goes against the worldly grain. We have been given powerful transformational tools to help us rise above our darkest fears, a lamp to light the way.

Learning to think with Spirit takes a little willingness and daily practice. Fortunately, its judgement is reliable, intimate and deep, and leads to God, unlike our own which is superficial and wide of the mark, and leads us straight back to the lunatic asylum called earth!

“The learning that the world can offer but one choice, no matter what its form may be, is the beginning of acceptance that there is a real alternative instead.” (T 654)

We all have the potential for greatness hidden deep within our unconscious mind, regardless of our upbringing or position in society. Practicing forgiveness, in our everyday experience, can help draw that greatness to the surface.

“You can not escape from what you are.” (T 655)

This land of make believe is whatever you want it to be. Forgive and you will see it differently.

P.S My new blog is called  An Experiment in Conscious Dying. I am looking for like minded individuals, mighty companions, who would be willing to follow this blog while I make the journey.

Tuesday, 5 October 2010

Love holds no grievances

Sunday, 3 October 2010

Random things about moi ...

I am a student /teacher of a big blue book called A Course in Miracles (also referred to as ACIM or the Course) ACIM is a self-study programme in relinquishing a thought system based on fear and returning to love. I discovered the book in someone’s lavatory during a visit to Canada a long time ago, and have been a keen student/ teacher ever since. ACIM was channelled in the 70's by an atheist called Helen Schuman. (Given that she was an atheist I imagine she must have been pretty pissed off when she discovered that Jesus had decided to channel a book through her.)

I am in Love with a beautiful girl called Elloa otherwise known as Ell, LB or Speck. See right for a picture of me and Ell. ( Some people think that this is a picture of Elloa posing with actor Daniel Day Lewis during a break in filming, but its just me pretending to be actor Daniel Day Lewis after hearing that I was nominated by the local theatre company for the award for outstanding contibution as The Bedlam in the play The Roses Of Eyam. )
LB makes my heart go all fuzzy at the edges. She has a beautiful spirit, and a passion for life that can only be described as infectious. Me and Ell are mighty companions. You might even decide to follow her sparkly bloggy blog - Explorations of Elloaness.

My all time favourite 80’s song is Blue Monday by New Order. At nearly seven-and-a-half minutes, "Blue Monday" is one of the longest tracks ever to chart in the UK. It is the biggest selling 12" single of all time. During my teen years I would walk around the local shopping precinct belting this song out of an intrusive looking Ferguson ghetto blaster (which required 8 chunky looking batteries to function ) Unfortunately, the girls were rarely impressed because I never made it through the entire seven-and-a-half minutes without the chunky batteries running out of power first.

I am the proud owner of a 1989 Honda civic shuttle called Winston the 2nd (once removed) If someone offered me a freebie Porsche Turbine I would probably refuse because Winston has lots of character and is very nice to drive (See left for a funky picture of Winston outside the Evangelical Free Church in the village of Henfield. I think a free church means that you don't have to pay to go in on Sundays.) Please bear in mind that I only parked Winston outside the Evangelical Free Church because it was snowy and there was nowhere else to park at the time.

Recently, I played the part of an autistic crippled beggar in the play  The Roses of Eyam. The journey to The Bedlam was both fascinating and engaging. My acting teacher once said that art is not meant to be neat and encouraged me to explore. This meant going out on a limb; taking risks; revealing those shadowy part of myself, and allowing them to transform into something childlike and beautiful.
I am currently preparing to play a shell shocked irish guard called Michael Bowe in the play My Boy Jack. I take great pleasure in playing juicy characters that challenge me to think outside the box.

I don’t own a TV because I found that it distracted me from my life purpose. I have just found other things to distract me instead- like accidentally watching people doing sex on the internet.

I was diagnosed with Colour Vision Deficiency at an early age after Mum noticed that I had crayoned a cocker spaniel dog bright green. You may want to read the following blog to get the bigger picture. 

I love riding my bike up big hills. Bike speed is best because it enables me to experience wonderful things that may otherwise be missed - like fluffy clouds , feeling the wind on my face, or saying hello, 'I Love You' to a nice family of deer in a nearby field. It also enables me to visit cafes, drink silly amounts of tea and eat lots of carrot cake. This is a recent picture of me eating cake during an epic ride through cheddar gorge .. (Please note the tanned forearm - its the latest tend)
Here is poem I wrote about cake ..

Cake in all its wonder
maketh the man.
The joy of cake -
yummie, carrot
slice of life
washed down with tea
of the english variety
I am completely caked up
watching the world drifting by
my cake and I
content in the knowingness
that all is cake.

Recently, I purchased a dream second hand Condor Heritage touring bike from a man called Harry.( See left for the original photo which Harry used to advertise the bike on Gum tree) Everything flowed beautifully which leads me to believe that there is no order of difficulty in miracles. I decided to name the bike after Harry because it sorta rhymes with Heritage. One day I intend to ride Harry Heritage across the entire length of this beautiful land and raise lots of money for the nice people who looked after Dad during his last few days on this planet.

My favourite film  is The Wizard of Oz. Like Dorothy, the Scarecrow, the Cowardly Lion, and the Tin Man I too set out in search of the Emerald City, but instead found a sense of hoplessness and depair. It was only when I stopped looking out there, turned around and faced myself  that  I finally realized  the truth -Happiness is not a specific outcome or destination, its a present choice.  ' Today is a gift; that's why they call it the present.' In my opinion The Wizard of Oz is a gift from God.

I fancy Dr Who and his new assistant Amy Pond. If the tardis suddenly appeared in my living room and they invited me inside for tea and crumpets I would probably accept, (but I would have to tell my girlfriend first because I think its important to be honest in relationships.)

I believe in truthful acting and study Lee Strasberg’s Method. Creating true emotion takes practice but the rewards are well worth the effort. Top method actors include; James Dean, Forest Whittaker, Ed Norton, Al Pacino, Robert Di Niro and Daniel Day-Lewis. Some people think Method actors are barmy. ( During the filming of 'My Left Foot', Day- Lewis played a severly paralyzed character called Christie Brown. Day-Lewis refused to break character off screen and had to be wheeled around the set in his wheelchair.)

My favourite dead actor is James Dean. He made some really cool films like Grapes of Wrath, and Rebel Without A Cause, but then he was killed in a car crash and became really famous.

Some people say I am eccentric, and I am inclined to agree.  (Supposedly, eccentricity refers to unusual or odd behavior on the part of an individual. Eccentricity is often associated with genius, intellectual giftedness, or creativity. ) I am all these things and more and enjoy being me. Recently, fellow blogger Brooke wrote the following words of wisdom 'If there ever comes a time when I go against the whispers of my heart, I know it will be a time when I will cease to exist.There will be no more meaning, no more reason to go on.'  In a nutshell; F**k it! Read more from the Brookemeister here.

I enjoy eating organic short grain brown rice because its healthy alternative to chunky chips and means that there is less chance of me dying from a strange disease like Human Werewolf Syndrome ( people with this disease grow dark hairy patches on their faces and look like werewolves)

Friday, 1 October 2010

Heavenly Jelly

Recently, I have become a human doing. My day is crammed with work, rehearsals and.. toothache.  According to Mr ego; busyness = f**king hero. However this particular hero is having doubts about his sanity. In a nutshell; Im jelly-fied; wobbling all over the place without a purpose.

Thankfully, this morning, spirit  brought me to my knees.

I wobble over to the tiny space between the bed and the patio door, slide back the door, and sit cross-legged on the floor, breathing in the clean air.  

The wood pigeons are cooing, the squirrels scurrying playfully across the lawn, and my favourite blue spruce is gently waving at me in the autumn breeze. I am slowing down to the speed of life, and for a brief moment  everything is joined in perfect continuity. I am in heaven - jelly free.

Maybe, this is what living juicy is really all about; making time to enjoy the things that really matter, like having a cup of tea with Ell and watching the world go by, reading a fellow bloggers blog, having a meditative workout , or just doing nothing at all.

Lee Strasberg once quipped, ‘ A little bit of real coffee is worth a ton of watered down,’ One truthful sensation can lead to others. So today, I am choosing to sing my own song - maybe just a little wisp of melody. A lovely song of hope.. Tra la la.

God whispers softly through the cracks of my life reassuring me ‘ Here is my own beloved son, in whom I am well pleased’

Maybe happiness is simply whatever I want it to be... and wherever I am… there God is.